It's a funny world...

Calvin and Hobbes once had a discussion:

Calvin: "It's a funny world, Hobbes."
Hobbes: "True."
Calvin: "But it's not a hilarious world."
Hobbes: "...Unless you like sick humor."
Calvin: "The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here."

I read it a long long time back but somehow it keeps coming back to me. I love CnH and the simple and subtle manner in which they have always made their point.

Sometimes you world comes crashing down in a matter of a few seconds. And you just stand speechless and have no idea what you will do or what you want to do. Just when you start thinking that everything is perfect and you indeed are happy, the so-called God will play his sickest of jokes as if He drives some sadistic pleasure out of it. Now this is sick humor isn't it?

I don't know how and why this happens, but this does. And with perfect timing always. And you are left out there on your own then. To pick up the broken pieces of your emotions. To try and put together your shattered hopes. To start afresh... yet again.

You just hope that you come out of it sooner than the last time. You just wish yourself luck.

Cheers!

Dear Blog

I love you :-)

You have been here always to hear about all my cribbing and I know that I have spent more times shouting at you than making you feel happy. But you have just patiently stood there and never said a word. You have let me vent out my frustrations, anger, disappointments etc all the time on you. You have always tried your best to keep me thinking and find some answers, though at times it hasn't worked but those times I am to be blamed for.

I am writing this today as I suddenly realized that I never thanked you and just took you for granted. I am sorry about that and I sincerely thank you will all my heart! Thank you for being there in times when I have had none to talk to.


And now don't start thinking that anything's going to change. :-)


Cheers!

Another day, Another time...

Am I right or am I wrong
A thousand questions in my head
As always, there are no answers
I feel I am just brain dead


Holding on too tightly
Has never done no good
But that is probably who I am
That's how I've always stood


I don't want to cause pain
And so I set her free
She's like a river
Her journey is to the sea


I somehow need to survive
These tough times of pain
I am happy and I am good
Myself I have to feign


Another day another time
As she used to say
Somewhere down there
I might have my way...

...

Crushed...
I don't like this
Doomed...

I wanted this to be a bliss

Bruised...

I am bleeding

Crumpled...

I am pleading

Trampled...
I have to get going
Shattered...
I have to keep holding

Defeated...
I should go back to my shell

Annihilated...

That is where I should dwell...

You...

It hurts today

And I miss you..

Alone in the crowd

Can't find my own

Days are the same

But I am not alive

Nights are the same

But I am sleep deprived

Day doesn't get over

When you go away

Don't want any distance

Want you to always stay

If I get you now

I will never say bye

I will just smile

And I will not cry...

Cheers!

Creep...

Somewhere I got lost on the way
I always thought I was special
But things never came along
And I got lost inside of me


There was a time I was happy
Feels it was long long back
Nothing seemed to matter then
I was just so carefree


I can't seem to hold me together
I feel like I am a broken soul
The scars just keep on increasing
And it hurts and its killing me


I don't know how to change
Can't see anything in this glare
The sun is shining too brightly
I need a shade, I need a tree


I want to go away
Far far far away
Deep into the wild
And leave here my brain
So there are no memories
And there is no pain


"I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here"


P.S. The last part is the song "Creep" by Radiohead but put it here as this is the closest to how I feel..

Crossings

Some roads you are not meant to walk
Some paths you are not supposed to tread
Some tracks you never should take
Some crossings you always dread...

Expectations... yet again :-)

Expectations are ruining
(They take their toll ever again)
Expectations are devastating
(They just cause all the pain)


Expectations are wrecking
(They break me down)
Expectations are frustrating
(They just make me frown)


Expectations are downing
(They push me down that slope)
Expectations are shattering
(They take away the hope)


Expectations are baffling
(They play with the skull)
Expectations are crushing
(They make me feel like a null)


Expectations are shrinking
(But they are difficult to let go)
Expectations are diminishing
(They should be done without I know)


Expectations make me expect
(And that is where all goes wrong)
Expectations have a deep effect
(Let them go before it's too long)


Expectations are what I should not have
(Where all is just in my mind)
Expectations should not make me crave
(I can't live on like I am blind)


Cheers!

Unclear thoughts..

Some thoughts have been running in my head and so will just write something here. As I have always said, one of my beliefs is that in the process of writing, at times you do find some clarity. So in that hope... here goes..

What do you do when you care too much

And not get that back in return

Should it be accepting the shortcomings

Or should the common path be learnt

Is it okay to keep too much of I
And just be stubborn to be a 'me'

Or should some efforts be made

To make life good and change into a 'we'


Should it be what I want
Should it be what I like
Or should I think of us and
Do what I must to make you smile
It should be more about the other
That's what I believe and I try
But I have been wrong before
And in the end I always cry

Naah.. let it be. Ain't able to write properly and have really not been able to get any clarity. The belief has flopped today. :-( Need to do some more thinking it seems and figure out what I should do.

Anyways, other than these stupid thoughts, life is kinda ok. Last weekend was super. Snow was here and it was awesome fun with her - watching the movie, going to some pubs and just roaming around in the city. This weekend went for a random unplanned trip on Saturday to Antwerp, Belgium in Sudhakar's new BMW 318i. It was ok, nothing too great as such. Sunday was all about lazying around. I do love to really laze around like a dog at times.. rather most of the times. :-) And it actually looks like the coming two weekends are going to be like that. God.. it is just Monday today and am already thinking of the weekend..!!

Cheers!

Crawling

Walking through the storm
Living like a worm
Not how it was supposed to be
But how it turned out to see


Lights and darks and brights and dulls
Goes on forever in the skull
Aint getting nowhere with this
Will it somehow turn back to a bliss?


What road to take at this fork
Or do nothing and just be a dork
Honestly, dont have a freaking clue
Is this also one of those flukes?


Too many thoughts too little words
Not making sense not hitting any chord
Thought too far ahead and too early
Will it cost too dearly?


Need some assurance, need some comfort
Has to be fast, has to be prompt
Will it really come this way
Will it just keep hanging by the bay?


So many questions and no answers at all
Time and life just seem to crawl
Back no option, ahead not possible
Life is easy, it's just not simple


Crawling is the only option
Crawl is all that can be done
Walking through the storm
Crawling like a worm...


Cheers!